This year, I just did something I have not done….well, ever.
I didn’t buy the good candy for Halloween.
The good candy, for those of you who have been living under a rock, is the Good Candy that you hand out to the trick-or-treaters. That is, chocolate. Good Candy usually includes at least some of the following: Kit-Kat, Twix, Baby Ruth, Snickers, Reese’s cups. For some–not me–it can also include Butterfinger, Mounds and Almond Joy. But it always involves chocolate.
Kids know who hands out the Good Candy. They remember.
Now, I must defend myself. I did not do the unthinkable and buy the Bad Candy. Anything generic is going to be saddled with the Bad Candy label, as is candy that is not kid-friendly. Starlight mints are not innately bad candy, but what child do you know who lusts for little hard peppermints when they could be gorging on caramel, nougat and, most importantly, CHOCOLATE?
The worst of the Bad Candy is that horrible taffy stuff that is wrapped in plain black and orange wax paper wrappers. Shudder. No one wants that stuff. No one admits to buying it, but clearly someone does and always has because I always had some in my trick-or-treat bag when I was a kid, and my five-year-old always winds up with some, too. It always, always gets tossed out. But I think you could probably also include Mike’n’Ikes and Good’n’Plenty on that list. I’m sure there are a few hard-core fans of Mike’n’Ike and Good’n’Plenty, but I’ve never met them.
So what did I buy? I bought miniature Tootsie Roll lollipops (which I personally adore), regular Tootsie Rolls, Starburst, and Skittles. Definitely not Bad Candy, not at all, but not chocolate.
When I got home from Target last night with my bags of candy, my husband wailed, “Why’d you get this stuff? Why didn’t you get the Good Candy?” He mournfully told me how he always looked forward to unwrapping a few Kit-Kats and Reese’s peanut butter cups after we turned off the porch light and extinguished the candle in the jack o’lantern.
I proffered one lone small bag of individually wrapped Twix bars that I’d snapped up just for that purpose, but he was still sad. No variety, he said. And what would the kids think?
Well, I guess we’ll find out in just a few hours. Kids? Please don’t egg my house or TP the sycamore trees in the front yard. I hear that there’s a well-meaning but clearly misinformed couple on the cul-de-sac who are handing out pencils and raisins…and what about the dentist and his toothbrushes?