A recent thunderstorm fried our satellite television system. Apparently, when the guy hooked it up, he didn’t properly hook up the system to the surge protector, and when the lightning got a little too close for comfort last weekend…..zzzzzzztttt.
Unfortunately, the DirecTV folks reported blithely that they couldn’t come out to fix it for two weeks. We got this piece of news on Sunday. My husband was apoplectic, to put it mildly. “TWO WEEKS?” he asked the invisible guy on the other end of the phone, in a thundering voice. “TWO WEEKS?”
You see, our hometown hockey team, the Nashville Predators, are in the NHL playoffs. They finally made it past Round One, something they’d never done before. So everyone around here’s suddenly a Predators fan now. Even my five-year-old son is walking around saying, “Go Preds!” He didn’t even know we had a hockey team here before about a month ago.
Well, my husband claims to have been a Predators fan for years now, which is probably true. He’s from here, he always follows the local teams, and he doesn’t tend toward exaggeration. So his team is finally, finally in the playoffs and is also playing well (and has a terrific goalie with the most terrific Scandinavian name: Pekka Rinne, which is so incredibly fun to say), and he can’t watch them.
He can’t watch his favorite (hockey) team in the playoffs. For a sports fan, that really is a nightmare. To my husband, it’s even worse. This is a man who grimly watched every single inning of every single Red Sox game that he could possibly watch for years before the Team of Destiny reversed the Curse of the Bambino in ’04. He doesn’t even care if his team is likely to win. He wants to watch them play. Period.
I farmed him out to a friend last night so he could watch the game at his house. I’m going to farm him out to a different friend tomorrow night. There are a couple of sports bars up the street that might be good game-watching places, too, so I’m going to encourage him to try them out. (A wife who sends her husbands to sports bars on purpose! Don’t you wish you were married to me?) And he’ll make do. Of course, he’ll continue to grumble about the lack of TV until May 14, or whenever the repairman shows up to fix things.
This is the part of the blog post where you might expect me to wax eloquently about how we’ve had an epiphany. About how we’ve come to the wholly unexpected realization that actually, we don’t need TV! About how we’ve woken up to the Evil that is television and discovered that we would much rather play board games and read classic novels and put together puzzles on the dining room table. About how we’ve decided to start living healthier lives and exercising more and eating foods with less sodium and cutting out the high fructose corn syrup and/or chemical sweeteners and all TV does is lead us astray. About how we’re discovering that we’re perfectly satisfied to catch the occasional sporting event at a friend’s house and then retreat to our own quiet TV-free home afterward.
Well, sorry to disappoint you, but you’re not going to get to read that epiphany. At least not from me. We miss our television. I miss watching my baseball team. I miss watching my husband’s baseball team. I miss being able to turn on “Wild Kratts” for my son when I really need a few minutes to conduct a phone interview or contact an editor about the details of an assignment. I miss watching “The Daily Show” and “The Colbert Report” before going to bed.
Anyway, I eat pretty healthy already and I read many many classic novels when I majored in English literature in college. My Diet Coke vice is pretty well-documented and unlikely to change. And that “TV is evil” attitude has always annoyed me. Yes, lots of people spend too much time in front of the TV. Spending too much time in a prone position zoning out in front of the TV isn’t good. But TV itself is not bad. Like most things, moderation is key. And I don’t think my baseball viewing is going to undermine the rest of my reasonably healthy life. Not having TV during the NHL playoffs, however, might just drive my husband insane, and that can’t be good, right?
So we’re counting down the days ’til the TV is working again. Thank goodness that at least the highspeed Internet is still working. (Uh oh. You don’t think I jinxed myself there, do you?)